‘Her behavior has gotten out of control. She yells at my mom for cooking my favorite meals’: Younger sister spirals over attention and money delusions, while her 29-year-old sister visits home on medical leave to recover

One exhausted 29-year-old trying to heal, two parents doing logistical math, and one 25-year-old staging a one-woman coup over sugar jars and imagined conspiracies. Family holidays really do shine a light on who grew up and who just grew taller. Nothing says seasonal joy like returning home on crutches and realizing the biggest injury in the house is someone else's ego.  

The spotlight depraved sister treats basic affection like stolen property. And that's why all it takes is Mom pointing at the sugar and suddenly it is an emotional affair, or Mom making someone else's favorite meal, and apparently, that is treason. It is less a household and more a live-in paranoia festival with catered drama. 

Author image for Etai Eshet Etai Eshet
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  • AITA for not wanting to come home next year because of my sister’s behaviour?

    Young woman sitting with arms crossed looking upset while another woman stands behind her angrily arguing in a tense indoor confrontatio
    via BearFotos

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • Some people treat attention like oxygen and walk around with their own personal smoke alarm. Any kindness shown to someone else triggers a full evacuation. The irony is brutal. The sister with a job, a loan, and a spine damaged by life is somehow the pampered one, while the sister with a chauffeur, a boyfriend on campus duty, and a hostage situation involving the family safe is the oppressed underdog in her own narrative.  

  • I am 29F and my younger sister is 25F. We have always had a rocky relationship.
    via AaneMeg
  • Growing up we never got along, and even as adults there has always been tension. 2 years ago I moved abroad for work.
    via AaneMeg
  • Since then I usually come home once a year during the holiday season, stay for about a month, celebrate my birthday, spend time with family and friends, and then return to my life abroad.
    via AaneMeg
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  • My sister (let's call her Karen) never stays home during my birthdays and always plans trips with her friends around that time, so we barely interact during those visits.
    via AaneMeg
  • Upset young woman sitting at a table with arms crossed while another woman stands behind her with folded arms after an argument, creating a tense and emotional atmosphere
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The trips are short enough that I can usually avoid major conflict. This year everything changed because of my health.
    via AaneMeg
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  • I developed chronic back pain issues and eventually reached a point where I could not walk without crutches.
    via AaneMeg
  • My doctor insisted I take medical leave. I originally refused to come home because I knew being around Karen would be stressful, but my mom begged me to stay with them so I could recover around family.
    via AaneMeg
  • Eventually I agreed and came home for a long 3 months stay. Few days after arriving, Karen started being openly rude.
    via AaneMeg
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  • She hates everything about me, like she hates it when my mom cooks something I like or if mom talks to me or answers something I ask, she starts throwing a tantrum.
    via AaneMeg
  • Annoyed young woman sitting at a table with an irritated expression while another woman leans forward, pleading and gesturing emotionally during a tense argument
    via BearFotos

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Anything that involves me being in the spotlight upsets her. I am also in the process of buying my own apartment in my hometown (which was a long term plan).
    via AaneMeg
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  • My parents have been helping me look at apartments and communicate with the bank since I am not able to move around easily.
    via AaneMeg
  • My mom also took me to a good doctor far from our town, and with proper physical therapy I am now doing much better.
    via AaneMeg
  • None of this involves financial help from my parents as I am paying for everything myself and I have taken a home loan.
    via AaneMeg
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  • Despite that, Karen has convinced herself that my mom is secretly giving me money for the apartment.
    via AaneMeg
  • Her behavior has gotten out of control. She yells at my mom for cooking my favorite meals.
    via AaneMeg
  • She has locked away mom's savings and refuses to give her the keys to the safe, she stopped eating at home because my mom had dinner with me last night.
    via AaneMeg
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  • She constantly accuses my mom of conspiring against her and prioritizing me. Earlier today something small escalated again.
    via AaneMeg
  • I had gone to the kitchen to make dessert and asked my mom where the sugar was.
    via AaneMeg
  • My mom and Karen were having dinner. Mom simply pointed to the jar of sugar, and Karen immediately started yelling that I was trying to get her attention on purpose by cooking during their dinner time.
    via AaneMeg
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  • For context, I support myself completely. I live abroad, work full time, and I do not take money from my parents.
    via AaneMeg
  • The reason I am buying an apartment is because I want a place of my own where I can exist without constant drama.
    via AaneMeg
  • Meanwhile Karen is doing her masters. She uses our dad's car to commute even though she cannot drive, so she hires a driver every day.
    via AaneMeg
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  • She also forces her boyfriend to go with her to university and make him sit outside her classes all day.
    via AaneMeg
  • Right now I am feeling extremely anxious and am seriously thinking about cutting my trip short and going back early.
    via AaneMeg
  • The thought of coming home again next year is honestly overwhelming. My parents want me to visit, and I do want to see them, but the chaos that happens every time I am here is exhausting and unpredictable.
    via AaneMeg
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  • Would I be the AH if I choose not to come home next year?
    via AaneMeg

  • There is a funny kind of freedom in realizing that love for parents does not require annual exposure therapy. A plane ticket is not a moral contract. Home can be a timezone, not a war zone. In the end, some trips are for rest, some are for sightseeing, and some are just for confirming that the new apartment cannot be ready soon enough.

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