‘Her behavior has gotten out of control. She yells at my mom for cooking my favorite meals’: Younger sister spirals over attention and money delusions, while her 29-year-old sister visits home on medical leave to recover

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  • AITA for not wanting to come home next year because of my sister’s behaviour?

    Young woman sitting with arms crossed looking upset while another woman stands behind her angrily arguing in a tense indoor confrontatio
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  • I am 29F and my younger sister is 25F. We have always had a rocky relationship.
  • Growing up we never got along, and even as adults there has always been tension. 2 years ago I moved abroad for work.
  • Since then I usually come home once a year during the holiday season, stay for about a month, celebrate my birthday, spend time with family and friends, and then return to my life abroad.
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  • My sister (let's call her Karen) never stays home during my birthdays and always plans trips with her friends around that time, so we barely interact during those visits.
  • Upset young woman sitting at a table with arms crossed while another woman stands behind her with folded arms after an argument, creating a tense and emotional atmosphere
  • The trips are short enough that I can usually avoid major conflict. This year everything changed because of my health.
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  • I developed chronic back pain issues and eventually reached a point where I could not walk without crutches.
  • My doctor insisted I take medical leave. I originally refused to come home because I knew being around Karen would be stressful, but my mom begged me to stay with them so I could recover around family.
  • Eventually I agreed and came home for a long 3 months stay. Few days after arriving, Karen started being openly rude.
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  • She hates everything about me, like she hates it when my mom cooks something I like or if mom talks to me or answers something I ask, she starts throwing a tantrum.
  • Annoyed young woman sitting at a table with an irritated expression while another woman leans forward, pleading and gesturing emotionally during a tense argument
  • Anything that involves me being in the spotlight upsets her. I am also in the process of buying my own apartment in my hometown (which was a long term plan).
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  • My parents have been helping me look at apartments and communicate with the bank since I am not able to move around easily.
  • My mom also took me to a good doctor far from our town, and with proper physical therapy I am now doing much better.
  • None of this involves financial help from my parents as I am paying for everything myself and I have taken a home loan.
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  • Despite that, Karen has convinced herself that my mom is secretly giving me money for the apartment.
  • Her behavior has gotten out of control. She yells at my mom for cooking my favorite meals.
  • She has locked away mom's savings and refuses to give her the keys to the safe, she stopped eating at home because my mom had dinner with me last night.
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  • She constantly accuses my mom of conspiring against her and prioritizing me. Earlier today something small escalated again.
  • I had gone to the kitchen to make dessert and asked my mom where the sugar was.
  • My mom and Karen were having dinner. Mom simply pointed to the jar of sugar, and Karen immediately started yelling that I was trying to get her attention on purpose by cooking during their dinner time.
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  • For context, I support myself completely. I live abroad, work full time, and I do not take money from my parents.
  • The reason I am buying an apartment is because I want a place of my own where I can exist without constant drama.
  • Meanwhile Karen is doing her masters. She uses our dad's car to commute even though she cannot drive, so she hires a driver every day.
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  • She also forces her boyfriend to go with her to university and make him sit outside her classes all day.
  • Right now I am feeling extremely anxious and am seriously thinking about cutting my trip short and going back early.
  • The thought of coming home again next year is honestly overwhelming. My parents want me to visit, and I do want to see them, but the chaos that happens every time I am here is exhausting and unpredictable.
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  • Would I be the AH if I choose not to come home next year?

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